I feel deeply and express none of it, which is partly why I blog. I can say what I like online and avoid the odd looks from people and the shyness which I would inevitably feel. I think I’m a confident person, then something happens and I’m just like ‘meh, maybe not so much’. I think I’m a strong person and life comes along, pointing its finger in your face going “nope, sit back down Michalah”. It happens, and I’m sure it happens to most of us, some just handle things better than others. I consider myself to be part of the group that handles things badly, or rather, I considered myself to have been part of that group that handles things badly. I did the ‘it must be my fault’ routine, and pulled the ‘maybe I’m not good enough’ line. Note the past tense. But as of this morning I had a realization.
And what was that realization?
That sometimes good things end badly, and weirdly, and awkwardly and in a way that makes you uncomfortable because you thought you deserved better. But it’s not me, and it’s not my fault, and some people just are douchebags, and life is a douchebag too. But life happens, and things come to an end, even if you don’t want them too. The good things come to an end to remind you that there is something better and more amazing waiting for you. It may not come immediately or happen as soon as you want it to happen. But the good things ending, badly or not, is the universe’s way of telling you that you deserve better, even if you can’t see it right now.